Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates, the rate of employment in four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare) of the financial system in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs in manufacturing sector risen significantly and declined compared with the other sectors. Retail and healthcare grew exponentially without any drawbacks while agriculture remained low.

Employment has significantly increased in manufacturing area from 1960 to 1980 upto 20 million and declined to about 13 million by the end of 2020. Meanwhile, jobs in agriculture sector decreased significantly from 5 million to 3 million.

Furthermore, retail sector of the America increased gradually from about 6 million to 16 million between 1960 to 2020. Whereas, healthcare sector grew exponentially from about 3 million to 16 million touching the retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the development of the task. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have included data points, but the comparison between sectors is limited. To improve, ensure you provide a more detailed overview and extend your descriptions of the trends, particularly by highlighting the specific time periods where shifts occurred. Because the response is under-length, the depth of the analysis is constrained, preventing a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'Meanwhile' and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical. To improve, try to vary your linking phrases and ensure that the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall structure would benefit from more sophisticated signposting to guide the reader through the data comparisons more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'risen significantly', 'declined', and 'grew exponentially'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'drawbacks' to describe a trend, which is not appropriate in this context. Additionally, 'financial system' is not the most precise term for 'economy'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations for data description and avoid repeating the same structures. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also help.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing sector risen' (missing auxiliary verb) and 'retail sector of the America' (incorrect article usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors, such as the unnecessary comma after 'illustrates'. While the meaning is clear, the frequency of these errors prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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