Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph displays the jobs in four different sectors in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, there is an increase in jobs for two sectors which include Healthcare and Retail. However, the job market for the Manufacturing sector increases till 1980 reaching a number of 20 million in jobs but then there is a decrease in the trend from 1980 to 2020 reaching a number of approximately 13 million.
As far as the Agriculture sector is concerned it can be observed that there is an overall trend of less jobs from 1960 to 2020 reaching its minimum number of jobs to approximately 2.5 million. The two growing sectors reach the maximum number of jobs in 2020 which is approximately 16 million.
In general it can be seen that overall the number of jobs available for the people of the US have been the same in 2020 compared to that in 1960. However, the only change was that the sectors which were providing jobs were varying over the time span of 40 years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview and identifies key trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat limited. While you mention the growth in Healthcare and Retail, you do not provide specific data points for these sectors, which is a key requirement for Task 1. Additionally, the final paragraph makes a general claim about the total number of jobs being the same in 1960 and 2020, which is not clearly supported by the data provided in the graph. To improve, ensure you include specific figures for all categories mentioned and avoid making broad conclusions that are not explicitly evidenced by the visual information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'As far as... is concerned', and 'In general' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion of the Manufacturing sector and the Agriculture sector is a bit abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, though some sentences feel slightly disconnected. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring a more fluid transition between paragraphs would help elevate the score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'sectors', 'trend', 'span', and 'fluctuating'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of the word 'jobs' and 'number of'. There are also minor issues with collocation, such as 'reaching a number of 20 million in jobs', which could be phrased more naturally. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and varied collocations related to data description, such as 'employment figures', 'plummeted', or 'witnessed a steady climb'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are some grammatical inaccuracies. For example, 'there is an increase in jobs for two sectors which include Healthcare and Retail' is slightly clunky, and 'reaching its minimum number of jobs to approximately 2.5 million' is grammatically awkward. There are also minor punctuation issues, such as missing commas after introductory phrases. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement and refining the use of prepositions and relative clauses to create more sophisticated and error-free complex sentences.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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