Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, number of jobs in millions is depicted on the y-axis and timeline is depicted on the x-axis of the line graph. Moreover, sectors like Manufacturing and Agriculture witnessed downward trend while an upward arc is followed by Healthcare and Retail.
In first two decades, number of jobs surged in Manufacturing, Retail and Healthcare sectors while jobs in Agriculture decreased over the period.Moreover Healthcare overtook agriculture and employees 5 million people in 1980.
In next 40 years, Retail and healthcare continued their upward trajectory and both employed 15 million people each, which is highest amoung any other sector. whereas number of jobs apex for manufacturing in 1980 at 20 million employes, faced decline in number of jobs in following years. Moreover, Agriculture remained the sector with lowest number of workers approximately about 2.5 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for all four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, while you mention that Healthcare and Retail followed an 'upward arc,' you could have provided more precise comparative data for the start and end points to better illustrate the magnitude of change. The description of the 'apex' for manufacturing is accurate, but the overall summary lacks a clear, cohesive overview of the most significant shifts. To improve, ensure that you not only report the data but also synthesize the information by highlighting the most striking contrasts between the sectors over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In next 40 years,' though these are occasionally used in a slightly mechanical way. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to show contrast or cause and effect. For example, the transition between the general overview and the specific data points could be smoother to create a more integrated narrative rather than a list of observations.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'upward trajectory,' 'surged,' and 'downward trend' appropriately. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling, such as 'amoung' (among) and 'employes' (employees). Additionally, the phrase 'illustrates about' is incorrect; 'illustrates' should be followed directly by the object. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring accurate spelling of key terms. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('number of jobs,' 'in united states') and issues with subject-verb agreement ('Healthcare overtook agriculture and employees 5 million people'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of commas and the capitalization of 'United States.' While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the data, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on article usage and consistent verb tense will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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