Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that there was an upward trend in healtcare and retail. In addition, manufacturing had the highest figures throughout the period, except after the 2000, it decreases smoothly.
Looking at the details, in 1960, the figure for agriculture stood at about 5 millions. This number significantly decreased to almost a bit above 0 in 2020.
However, the situation was different for manufacturing. The number of manufacturing was 15 millions in 1960, whereas the figure for retail was between 5 millions and 0. By the end of the period, manufacturing fell to under 15 millions, but jobs numbers in retail and healtcare rose to above 15 millions. Agriculture decreased throughout the period smoothly. It was lowest job trends in the US. Retail and healtcare increased too fast every years.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the upward trends in healthcare and retail and the decline in agriculture. However, the analysis of manufacturing is slightly inaccurate, as the text states it fell to 'under 15 millions' while the graph shows it ending significantly lower. Furthermore, the comparison between sectors lacks precision; for instance, the claim that retail and healthcare increased 'too fast every years' is subjective and lacks data-driven support. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurately transcribed and that comparisons are based strictly on the provided figures rather than qualitative descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. While there is a logical progression, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, the transition 'However, the situation was different for manufacturing' is clear, but other links between sentences are weak. The paragraphing is sufficient, but the internal structure of the final paragraph is disjointed, with short, choppy sentences that hinder the flow of information. Improving the use of linking words and varying sentence structures would enhance the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is limited and contains some inaccuracies. There are repeated spelling errors, such as 'healtcare' (healthcare), and awkward phrasing like 'lowest job trends'. The use of 'millions' as a plural noun after a number is grammatically incorrect in this context (e.g., '5 millions' should be '5 million'). To improve, you should focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure correct usage of numerical expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('it decreases smoothly'), subject-verb agreement errors ('It was lowest job trends'), and incorrect use of articles and plurals. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and tense consistency would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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