Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given image is a line chart which provide vital information regarding multiple jobi in four different sectors such as retail and healthcare of the financial system in the US form 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evidant that jobs related healthcare rised over time while retail jobs showed similar trend over the decades. In contrast, agriculture jobs are gradually decline throuhout the period.
At the begining of the year 1960, manufacturing jobs are highest demanded around 15 millions jobs which slowely increased in 1980, after touching the highest point then decline at the end of period while on the other hand healthcare jobs are dramaticly increased over the time.
Meanwhile, jobs regarding retail business are also rise sharply form 1960 to 2000 and then edge up while agriculture jobs in 1960 it is above 5 millions and go down slowly. At 2020 agriculture jobs are almost only 2 millions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, stating that manufacturing jobs were 'highest demanded around 15 millions' lacks precision, and the description of the trends is somewhat vague. While the overview is present, it could be more effectively integrated to highlight the most significant differences between the sectors. The response meets the minimum length requirement, but the analysis of the data points needs to be more systematic to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. Phrases like 'on the other hand' and 'meanwhile' are used, but the logical flow between sentences is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. The paragraphing is functional, but the overall cohesion lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'evidant' instead of 'evident', 'rised' instead of 'rose', and 'dramaticly' instead of 'dramatically'. The student relies on basic descriptors like 'highest' and 'increased', which limits the ability to convey the trends with nuance. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequent errors in word formation and the limited range of vocabulary prevent a higher score. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise verbs and adverbs to describe trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'the given image is a line chart which provide' (subject-verb agreement), 'jobs related healthcare rised' (missing preposition), and 'agriculture jobs in 1960 it is above 5 millions' (redundant pronoun and incorrect pluralisation). These errors are persistent throughout the text. While the student attempts to use complex structures, the control over them is inconsistent. Improving accuracy in basic verb tenses and subject-verb agreement is essential for progress.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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