Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph presents the number of jobs in multiple areas of the economy in the United States between 60 years; from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the Manufacturing department has shown the highest number of jobs and the Agriculture departement presented the lowest, as compared to the other sectors.
The Manifacturing sector had 15 million jobs in the year 1960, followed by it rising up to 20 millions in 1980. Then the number decreased to just below 14 million till the year 2020. Moreover, the Retail department had job facilities to just above 5 millions in 1960. The number boosted significantly to 15 millions till the year 2000. After that, it only slightly progressed just above 15 millions in 2020.
Furthermore, the healthcare sector had earning facalities and opportunities around 2 million in the year 1960. The number of earning facalities kept increasing till it reached just above 15 millions in 2020. The Agriculture sector had jobs just above 5 millions which continued to fall and reached around 2 million in the year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise in healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that manufacturing had the 'highest number of jobs' throughout the period is misleading, as healthcare overtakes it by the end of the period. Furthermore, the description of the data is sometimes imprecise, such as using 'job facilities' and 'earning facalities' instead of referring to the number of jobs. To improve, ensure the overview captures the most significant shifts rather than just static snapshots, and use more precise terminology to describe the data points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific sectors. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'After that' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of information is generally clear, moving from the manufacturing sector to retail, healthcare, and finally agriculture. To reach a higher band, focus on varying the cohesive devices used and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more fluid rather than relying on simple sequence markers.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate but limited. There are several instances of inappropriate word choice, such as 'job facilities' and 'earning facalities', which do not accurately describe employment figures. Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'departement' and 'Manifacturing'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision in vocabulary prevents a higher score. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations for describing graphs, such as 'employment figures', 'workforce', or 'sectoral growth', and proofread carefully for spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'between 60 years; from 1960 to 2020' (incorrect preposition and punctuation) and 'followed by it rising up to' (awkward phrasing). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are generally maintained, but the sentence structure is occasionally repetitive. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on more accurate use of prepositions and refining complex sentence structures would improve the overall quality.
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