Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph provides the figures of four industaries of the economy in the US in between 1960 to 2020 of various employments.

To begin with, The manufacturing sector was the highest jobs 15millions in the 1960 although the healthcare had less vacancys almost 3millions.

On the other hand, The agricultre and the retail trades started the equal amount of jobs as near 6millions however, the retail industry got a sharp increase till 2000 and after its slighty growth reached at 15millions in 2020. Although, agricultre sector went off sharp down near about 4millions in 1980 after that had very tinny decrease at the end of 2020 was 3millions.

In conclusion, The manufacturing was the department of variety of jobs in 1960 yet the healthcare has very less jobs. Furthermore in 2020, retailers has almost 16millions evenmore, agricultre has decresing number of jobs3millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, such as the growth in retail and the decline in agriculture, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have included some data points, but the lack of sufficient length means that the comparison between sectors is not fully developed. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview and include more specific data points to support your descriptions, ensuring you meet the minimum length requirement to fully address the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward use of 'Although' at the start of a sentence in the third paragraph. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the four sectors smoothly. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases more naturally to connect your sentences and paragraphs, ensuring that each idea flows logically into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and contains several errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'industaries', 'vacancys', 'agricultre', and 'tinny'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your writing. While you attempt to use sector-specific terminology, the range is not sufficient to demonstrate flexibility or precision. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic terms and try to incorporate a broader range of vocabulary related to trends and data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'The manufacturing sector was the highest jobs 15millions' and 'retailers has almost 16millions'. These errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency. Increasing the use of complex structures will also help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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