Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates the information about the occupations in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors in the United States over a period of 60 years. The data has been calibrated in millions.
Overall, In the sector Retail and Healthcare had tremendous job than other two sectors. While the trend of Agriculture and manufacturing was dropped sharply.
From a graph, it is clearly seen that in healthcare field nearly 2 millions job during 1960. Whereas 15 million people took jobs in manufacturing in 1960. After 2 decades, a sharp incline in this and settled at 20 million. From 1980 job in this area went down rapidly till 2020. But healthcare had a significant rose.
Furthermore, people showed less interest in agriculture occupation. However, more than 5 million people were cultivated in 1960, after half century a dramatically reduction of this profession. Retail sector gained jobs 5 million almost in every 20 years. In 2020 , 17 million people chose retail sector for job.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in agriculture and manufacturing and the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is slightly confusing due to grammatical errors, and some data points are inaccurate or poorly expressed (e.g., 'nearly 2 millions job'). While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in reporting figures and the somewhat disjointed presentation of data prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure that the overview clearly contrasts the overall trends without relying on fragmented sentences, and double-check the accuracy of the data extracted from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical or unclear. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes misused, such as the abrupt transition 'From a graph, it is clearly seen that...'. The referencing is occasionally confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the data. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the information logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'calibrated in millions' (which is technically incorrect in this context) and 'people were cultivated', which is an inappropriate collocation for describing employment in agriculture. The range is limited, and the student relies on basic descriptors. To achieve a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a steady growth', and ensure that word choices are contextually appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('Retail and Healthcare had tremendous job'), incorrect article usage, and sentence fragments ('While the trend of Agriculture and manufacturing was dropped sharply'). The range of structures is limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that passive voice is used correctly when describing data. Increasing the use of complex sentences with subordinate clauses would also help improve the grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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