Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the jobs in four economic sectors of US between the years 1960 and 2020. Number of jobs are shown in millions.
Overall, both agriculture and retail were at its least in the beginning; rose to the highest point by the end of the period. On the contrary, manufacturing sector underwent a huge declined.
In the year 1960, manufacturing industries have the most number of jobs of 15 million. Later, from 1980 it encountered downfall and reached 13 million in 2020. In the same year jobs agricultural sector slowly lowered, Healthcare skyrocketed to the highest jobs of 16million.
Though, retail and agriculture industries were at the same point in the start their trends were opposite. Retail industry peaked to 13 million similar to agriculture sector in 2020. However, agriculture had many fluctuations and further collapsed to 2million jobs to the end of the period containing the lowest jobs among all sectors.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies. For instance, you state that agriculture and retail 'rose to the highest point' by the end of the period, which contradicts the data showing agriculture declining significantly. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector as having a 'huge declined' is grammatically incorrect and lacks precision. While you identify some key trends, the misinterpretation of the data points—specifically regarding the agriculture sector's final figures—prevents a clear and accurate overview. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written summary with the visual data to avoid reporting contradictory information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, the transition 'Though, retail and agriculture industries were at the same point in the start' is awkward, and the use of 'On the contrary' to introduce the manufacturing trend is slightly unnatural in this context. While there is an overall progression, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by the factual errors mentioned in the task achievement section. Using a wider range of linking words and ensuring they are used accurately would improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'huge declined' (which is also grammatically incorrect) and 'skyrocketed'. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'at its least' instead of 'at their lowest point'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', and ensure that your collocations are natural. Expanding your range of vocabulary will help you describe the data more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You make several grammatical errors, such as 'Number of jobs are shown' (should be 'is'), 'manufacturing industries have the most number' (should be 'had the highest number'), and 'huge declined' (should be 'huge decline'). Subject-verb agreement and tense consistency are frequent issues throughout the text. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to lower the score. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency will help you improve your grammatical accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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