Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the jobs in four economic sectors of the US between the years 1960 and 2020. The number of jobs is shown in millions.
Overall, both agriculture and retail were at their lowest in the beginning and rose to the highest point by the end of the period. On the contrary, manufacturing sector underwent a huge decline.
In the year 1960, manufacturing industry had the most number of jobs of 15 million. Later, from 1980 it encountered downfall and reached 13 million in 2020. In the same year jobs in the agricultural sector slowly lowered, the healthcare skyrocketed to the highest jobs of 16 million.
Although retail and agriculture industries were at the same point in the start, their trends were opposite. Retail industry peaked to 13 million similar to the agriculture sector . However, the agriculture had many fluctuations and further collapsed to 2 million jobs by the end of the period which consist of the least number of jobs among all four sector
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides an overview and selects key features, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that agriculture and retail rose to the highest point, whereas the graph shows agriculture declining significantly. Additionally, you mention manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 and reached 13 million in 2020, which misinterprets the visual data. The summary of trends is inconsistent with the provided graph, leading to a failure to accurately report the main features. To improve, ensure that your descriptions of trends (e.g., 'skyrocketed', 'collapsed') strictly align with the actual numerical data presented in the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'On the contrary', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the logical progression is hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you mention 'the same year' without specifying which year you are referring to. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that your transition words are used to connect logically sound observations rather than contradictory ones.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic sectors', 'fluctuations', and 'skyrocketed'. However, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'most number of jobs' (should be 'highest number of jobs') and 'consist of the least number of jobs' (should be 'accounted for the lowest number'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your general intent, they limit the precision of your writing. Expanding your range of reporting verbs and noun phrases would help elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as missing articles ('in manufacturing industry', 'in the beginning'), subject-verb agreement issues ('agriculture had many fluctuations and further collapsed'), and punctuation errors. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent use of articles and ensure that your verb tenses are used correctly when describing past trends. Proofreading for minor slips in pluralisation and prepositions will also be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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