Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the jobs in four economic sectors of the US between the years 1960 and 2020. The number of jobs is shown in millions.
Overall, both agriculture and retail were at their lowest in the beginning and rose to the highest point by the end of the period. On the manufacturing sector underwent a significant decrease.
In the year 1960, the manufacturing industry had the most number of jobs of 15 million. Later, from 1980 it encountered downfall and reached 13 million in 2020. In the same year jobs in the agricultural sector slowly lowered; the healthcare skyrocketed to the highest jobs of 16 million.
Although retail and agriculture industries were at the same point in the start, their trends were opposite. Retail industry peaked to 13 million similar to the agriculture sector. However, the agriculture had many fluctuations and further collapsed to 2 million jobs by the end of the period which consist of the least number of jobs among all four sectors
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the task but contains significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For example, you state that agriculture and retail were at their lowest at the beginning and rose to the highest point, which contradicts the visual data showing agriculture declining significantly. Furthermore, the claim that manufacturing encountered a 'downfall' to 13 million is imprecise, and the description of healthcare is confusing as the graph provided does not clearly support the '16 million' figure mentioned. While you identify some trends, the misinterpretation of the data points leads to a failure to accurately report the main features. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written statements with the specific data points on the axes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned above. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Although', 'However', and 'In the same year', but some transitions feel mechanical or are used incorrectly (e.g., 'On the manufacturing sector' is grammatically incomplete). The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices to link ideas more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, accurate focus on a specific trend or comparison.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'skyrocketed', 'fluctuations', and 'economic sectors'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'most number of jobs of 15 million' (should be 'highest number of jobs at 15 million') and 'the agriculture had many fluctuations'. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they limit the precision required for a higher band. To improve, work on using more accurate collocations when describing trends and data points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'On the manufacturing sector underwent' (incorrect preposition usage) and 'which consist of the least number' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentences are slightly awkward in their construction. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the general intent, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency of the writing. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct prepositional phrases will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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