Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates the jobs in four economic sectors of the US between the years 1960 and 2020. The number of jobs is shown in millions.
Overall, both agriculture and retail were at their lowest in the beginning and rose to the highest point by the end of the period. On the contrary, manufacturing sector underwent a significant decrease.
In the year 1960, the manufacturing industry had the highest jobs of 15 million. Later, from 1980 it encountered a downfall and reached 13 million in 2020. In the same year jobs in the agricultural sector slowly lowered; the healthcare sector skyrocketed to the highest jobs of 16 million.
Although retail and agriculture industries were at the same point in the start, their trends were opposite. Retail industry peaked to 13 million similar to the agriculture sector. However, the agriculture had many fluctuations and further collapsed to 2 million jobs by the end of the period which consisted of the least number of jobs among all four sectors
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data interpretation. For instance, you state that agriculture and retail rose to their highest points, whereas the graph shows agriculture declining significantly. Furthermore, the description of the manufacturing sector is contradictory, and the claim that the healthcare sector skyrocketed to 16 million is not supported by the provided data. While you attempt to identify trends, the misreading of the figures prevents a clear and accurate summary of the information. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your statements with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the contrary', 'Although', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by the factual inaccuracies mentioned in the task achievement section. The referencing is generally clear, but the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by confusing comparisons, such as the statement about retail and agriculture having opposite trends when the data interpretation is flawed. Overall, the structure is functional, but the cohesion is weakened by the lack of clarity in the content.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'skyrocketed', 'fluctuations', and 'economic sectors'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'highest jobs of 15 million' instead of 'a peak of 15 million jobs'. You also use 'downfall' in a context that is slightly imprecise. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Focusing on more accurate collocations related to data description would enhance your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the 'Although...' construction. There are several grammatical errors, including 'the manufacturing industry had the highest jobs of 15 million' (should be 'the highest number of jobs') and 'jobs in the agricultural sector slowly lowered' (should be 'decreased' or 'declined'). Additionally, there are minor issues with article usage and prepositions. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of error-free complex structures would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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