Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graphs illustrated the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US in 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the manufacturing department stood at highest place in initial years, however fell in the final year. While, agriculture department accounted at lower level throughout the period in terms of jobs in the US.
In 1960, manufacturing department provided 15 million jobs, surge increased by 20 million in 1980, and gradually fell to 13 million in 2020. In retail department, started from around 6 million in 1960 and rose dramatically in 2000 by 15 million jobs and showed slightly more increase by the end of the period. In agriculture department, provided same jobs as retail department, but it slightly decreased to 3 million in 1980 and showed the constant figure by the end of the period in 2020. In heathcare department, it started from 2 million in 1960 and dramatically increased to 12 million in 2000 and showed continuos increasing figure
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in manufacturing. However, the analysis is somewhat mechanical and lacks a clear, cohesive overview of the relationships between the data points. The description of the manufacturing sector is slightly inaccurate regarding the peak, and the final sentence is incomplete, which hinders the full development of the task. To improve, ensure that all trends are described with precision and that the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant changes across the entire period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive or mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'in [sector] department'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between sentences feels disjointed. The final sentence ends abruptly without a concluding thought or proper punctuation, which disrupts the flow. To reach a higher band, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear internal structure that guides the reader through the data.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. There is a heavy reliance on repetitive phrasing like 'department' and 'jobs'. While the student attempts to use terms like 'dramatically' and 'gradually', the collocations are sometimes awkward, such as 'accounted at lower level' or 'showed the constant figure'. There are also minor spelling errors like 'heathcare' and 'continuos'. To improve, focus on using more varied synonyms for trends and sectors, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'The line graphs illustrated' (should be present tense), 'manufacturing department stood at highest place' (missing articles), and 'surge increased by 20 million' (redundant phrasing). The final sentence is a fragment and lacks a full stop. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and ensuring all sentences are complete.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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