Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States, between 1960 to 2020.
In 1960, the highest rates of jobs in manufacturing among all others which is probably started from 15 millions. Jobs in healthcare was the least proportions which is almost 2 millions, While jobs in retail and agriculture fields started from the same ratio which is approximately 6 millions.
In 1980, in manufacturing field jobs extend and reaches around 20 millions, as well as jobs in retail and healtcare departments also increased gradually which is almost 10 millions and 5 millions; conversily in agriculture fields jobs declined sharply which is around 3 millions.
In 2000, jobs in agriculture fields remain constant but in manufacturing the number of jobs decreased slightly which is approximately 18 millions, while both other sectors retail and healthcare departments increases their jobs probably 15 millions and 11 millions.
In 2020, healthcare field increses their jobs sharply and reaches approximately 16 millions while retail also increased slightly which is probably 16 millions. On the other hand, jobs in agriculture field also remain same, but jobs in manufacturing fields declined dramatically 13 millions.
Overall, number of jobs in fluctuated over the period, but healthcare fi
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and provides data points for the specified years. However, the summary is incomplete as it cuts off mid-sentence at the end. While the main features are identified, the analysis lacks a clear, cohesive overview that synthesizes the trends effectively. The description of data is sometimes imprecise, using phrases like 'probably started from' or 'almost', which suggests a lack of confidence in reading the graph. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview is fully developed and the response is completed, avoiding vague estimations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the chronological progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'In 1960', 'In 1980', 'In 2000'). There are also issues with referencing and logical flow; for instance, the transition between sectors within paragraphs is sometimes abrupt. The abrupt ending significantly impacts the overall coherence of the final section. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a smooth transition between sentences would enhance the logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several spelling errors, such as 'healtcare', 'conversily', and 'increses'. The student relies on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' repeatedly. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, the lack of sophisticated collocations and the presence of spelling mistakes limit the score. Using more varied terminology for trends, such as 'surged', 'plummeted', or 'remained stable', would improve the lexical quality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'jobs in healthcare was', 'retail and healthcare departments increases'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'which is probably started from'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and sentence construction is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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