Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in million in United Kingdom in sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is crystal clear that manufacturing had maximum number of jobs in 1980 , whereas agriculture had minimum number of jobs.
It is apparent from the chart that manufacturing had 15 million jobs in 1960 and it rose by 20 million in next year. In 2000 , there is sudden fall around 16 million to 13 million jobs in 2020. Retail sector had approximately 6 million jobs in 1960 and increased to 10 million in another year. In 2000, it reached to 15 million.
Moving further, agriculture sector had great fall in jobs at around 5 million to 3 million from 1960 to 1980 and steadily decreased till last year. Lastly, healthcare accounted for just 2 million jobs to approximately 12 million in 2000 and reached to its highest peak around 15 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
You have identified the main features and trends, but there are significant inaccuracies in your data reporting. For instance, you mention the UK instead of the US, which is a fundamental error in interpreting the prompt. Furthermore, your description of the data is often confusing; phrases like 'rose by 20 million in next year' are not supported by the graph, and your timeline references (e.g., 'in another year') are vague and inaccurate. While you cover all four sectors, the lack of precision in reporting the figures and the misidentification of the country prevent this from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure you carefully read the prompt and verify that your data points align exactly with the visual information provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally confusing. For example, 'Moving further' and 'Lastly' are used to transition between paragraphs, but the logical flow within the paragraphs is hampered by the inaccurate data reporting. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which sector is being discussed at certain points. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical focus that connects back to the overall trend described in the introduction.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use basic descriptors like 'great fall' and 'maximum number of jobs' rather than more academic collocations such as 'a significant decline' or 'the highest number of employees'. There are also some awkward phrasings, such as 'number of jobs in million', which should be 'number of jobs in millions'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and pay closer attention to pluralization and article usage when discussing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in United Kingdom', 'in retail sector'), incorrect preposition usage ('reached to its highest peak'), and tense inconsistencies. While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering the use of articles and prepositions, and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent when describing historical data. Reviewing basic sentence construction will help you produce more error-free sentences, which is essential for achieving a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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