Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line illustrated information about the numbers of occupation in all sectors of financial condition in US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, In graph shows the job of millions in four sectors like Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare with economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Manufacturing was increasing from 15 to 20 in 1960 to 1980 after that the numbers of jobs was fall frequently from 1980 to 2020 of economy in US. Subsequently, the number of occupation in millions was growth in retail from 1960 to 2000. After that retail was rise from 15 to about 17 jobs of millions from 2000 to 2020.

By Contrast, Agriculture was decrease at first from 1960 to 1980 and equal in 1980 to 2000 however little decline from 2000 to 2020 of financial condition in US. Subsequently, Healthcare was rapidly rise from 1960 to 2020 in numbers of jobs with economy in US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends. However, the reporting is often inaccurate or vague. For example, stating manufacturing increased from '15 to 20' in 1960 to 1980 is unclear as the units are not properly contextualised, and the description of the trends is sometimes contradictory or lacks precision. The overview is poorly constructed, repeating information rather than highlighting the most significant trends, such as the dramatic rise of the healthcare sector compared to the decline in agriculture. The response addresses the task, but the lack of clear, accurate data reporting limits the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused. Phrases like 'Subsequently' and 'By Contrast' are used, but they do not always logically connect the ideas. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is disjointed. The paragraphing is present, but the internal logic within paragraphs is weak, making the progression of ideas feel repetitive and somewhat confusing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'numbers of occupation' instead of 'number of jobs', and 'financial condition' used repeatedly in an unnatural way. The student struggles to use precise terminology to describe trends, relying on basic verbs like 'rise' or 'increase' with incorrect grammatical structures (e.g., 'was growth in retail'). The range is insufficient to convey the information with the necessary precision required for an Academic Task 1 response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There is a lack of control over basic sentence structures, particularly with verb tenses and passive voice constructions (e.g., 'the numbers of jobs was fall frequently'). The student attempts complex structures, but these are often faulty, such as 'the number of occupation in millions was growth'. Punctuation is generally functional, but the persistent errors in subject-verb agreement and word order significantly detract from the overall quality of the writing.

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