Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. here is the information about the four sector. in the US in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare.

Overall, we will write about the jobs in Manufacturing is rapidly increased in 1960 is 15 million.

before its gradually falling its 20 million in 1980. and then its slowly fall to 17 million in 2000 and after that it will become down to 13 million in 2020. While the retail increased in 1960 is 6 million and after it will rapidly high to 10 million in 1980 however the retail job was rapidly increased to 15 million in 2000. and 16 million in 2020. Mean while the Agriculture jobs is normal in 1960 is 6 million after that in 1980 it will become low it was 3 million and in 2000 it was also 3 million. and in 2020 it was going to down its is 2 million.

While the Healthcare is 3 million in 1960 after some time it will going to high in 1980 it was 5 million and in 2000 it was rapidly high to 11 million as long as in 2020 it will become 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the presentation of data is problematic. The overview is poorly constructed, as it includes specific data points rather than identifying the main trends or significant differences. The description of the data is often inaccurate; for example, stating that manufacturing 'rapidly increased' in 1960 contradicts the visual data, which shows a decline. Furthermore, the report lacks a clear summary of the overall trends, such as the significant growth in healthcare versus the decline in agriculture. The response attempts to report features but fails to provide a clear, accurate summary of the information provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is weak. The use of cohesive devices is repetitive and often misused, such as the frequent use of 'and then' or 'after that' to link sentences. There is a lack of variety in transition signals, making the text feel mechanical. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the paragraphing does not effectively separate the different trends, leading to a disjointed reading experience. The overall progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of clear logical connections between the data points described.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic verbs like 'increased', 'falling', and 'going to high'. There is little attempt to use a range of vocabulary appropriate for describing trends in a graph. Some word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as 'it will become down' or 'it was normal'. The lack of variety in describing changes (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable') restricts the ability to convey the information precisely. To improve, you should focus on learning specific collocations for data description.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There are consistent issues with verb tenses, such as using future tense ('will become') to describe past data. Sentence structure is often simplistic or fragmented, and there are frequent errors in punctuation and capitalization. For instance, 'here is the information about the four sector' contains a subject-verb agreement error and incorrect capitalization. The lack of control over complex sentence structures means that the writing relies on simple, often incorrectly constructed, sentences. Significant improvement in basic grammar and tense consistency is required.

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