Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given graph represents the number of jobs in four sectors ,measured in millions and it includes manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare between [redacted phone]

overall manufacturing had the highest number of jobs after it reached to peak it downfall begin,in 2020 it was declined,in contrast healthcare growth started steadily and healthcare became the largest number of jobs in 2020

in 1960 manufacturing employed approximately 15 million people,compared with around 6 million in retail and agriculture healthcare had the lowest figure at only about 2 millions

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the 150-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the ability to fully address the task. While you have identified some main features, such as the decline in manufacturing and the rise of healthcare, the analysis is incomplete. You have not provided a comprehensive overview of all four sectors, and the data points are sparse. To improve, you must ensure you meet the word count by providing a more detailed description of the trends for all categories and making more explicit comparisons between the sectors throughout the 60-year period.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which is essential for organizing information in an IELTS Task 1 response. The ideas are presented in a somewhat disjointed manner, and there is a lack of cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas effectively. For instance, the transition between the overview and the specific data is abrupt. To improve, you should structure your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs detailing the specific trends. Using linking words like 'furthermore', 'in contrast', or 'subsequently' would help improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. You rely on simple verbs like 'had' and 'was', and there are errors in word choice, such as 'it downfall begin' and 'it was declined'. The range of vocabulary is limited and does not demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant surge'. Additionally, ensure you use correct word forms, such as 'downfall' (noun) versus 'declined' (verb).

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with sentence structure, punctuation, and verb tense consistency. For example, 'after it reached to peak it downfall begin' is grammatically incorrect and lacks proper punctuation. The use of commas is inconsistent, and there are missing articles and prepositions throughout the text. The range of structures is limited to simple sentences, with no successful attempts at complex grammatical forms. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and using a wider variety of complex structures like relative clauses or passive voice.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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