Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This line graph demonstrates the number of jobs in four sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare of economy in US between 1960 and 2020. Unites are measured in millions.
Overall, the number of jobs in two sectors manufacturing and agriculture were declined over the period, while in other two increased throughout the period.
The number of jobs in manufacturing sector were 15 million in 1960, and increased significantly to 20 million in 1980, However, the ratio of jobs declined over the period and between the 15 and 10 million. In 1960, the number of jobs in agriculture were above the 5 million at stating point while decreased about 4 million in 1980, and remained as it was throughout the years.
The number of jobs at retail and healthcare sectors were low at starting point, whereas, increased over the period and met at same point approximately above the 15 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. For instance, the description of the manufacturing sector is inaccurate, stating it declined 'between 15 and 10 million' when the graph shows a more complex trajectory. Furthermore, the data points are not always precise, and the comparison between sectors lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that the data reported accurately reflects the visual information and provides a more detailed comparison of the trends over the 60-year period.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the transition 'However, the ratio of jobs declined' is confusing in context. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'in other two increased', which lacks the necessary articles. While there is an overall progression, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns and references clearly point to the intended subjects.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. You rely on simple verbs like 'increased' and 'decreased' throughout the response. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'Unites are measured' (instead of 'Units') and 'at stating point' (instead of 'at the starting point'). To improve, you should incorporate more precise vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and pay closer attention to articles and prepositions to ensure more natural phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the number of jobs... were declined') and missing articles (e.g., 'in US', 'in manufacturing sector'). The punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly the comma usage in the first paragraph. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly enhance your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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