Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates employment figures in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the graph demonstrates retail and healthcare jobs faced growth whereas manufacturing jobs declined rapidly over the period. Additionally, agriculture jobs in the first two decade had declined while keeping a steady balance in the subsequent years.

The graph shows, manufacturing jobs accounted for 15 million in 1960 which soared to 20 million in 1980 later dropping to approximately 13 million in 2020. Likewise, agriculture jobs declined from slightly over 6 million in 1960 to less than 5 million in 1980. However, the agriculture sector maintained this steady balance throughout the given period making this sector the least contributing in the economy.

Subsequently, retail and healthcare jobs started off with a little over 5 millions and approximately 3 million in 1960 respectively. The figure then faced an upward trend and later finished off at just little over 15 million in 2020 making these two job sector accounted for making these two sectors the highest contributors in the economy of US.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have successfully identified the main trends and provided a clear overview of the data. You covered all four sectors and made relevant comparisons, such as noting that retail and healthcare became the highest contributors while manufacturing declined. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for instance, you stated manufacturing 'soared to 20 million in 1980' and then dropped, but the graph shows a more complex trajectory. Additionally, the description of agriculture as having a 'steady balance' is slightly vague given the initial decline. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with greater precision and that the overview captures the most significant shifts more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The response is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Subsequently', and 'Likewise' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by minor mechanical issues, such as the repetitive phrasing in the final paragraph ('making these two job sector accounted for making these two sectors'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the overview from the detailed analysis. To improve, focus on varying your cohesive devices and ensuring that sentences flow more naturally without redundant clauses.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'accounted for', 'upward trend', and 'contributors'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'first two decade' (should be plural) and 'least contributing' (should be 'least significant contributor'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band. Incorporating more precise academic collocations would enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'agriculture jobs in the first two decade had declined' (subject-verb agreement and pluralization issues) and 'making these two job sector accounted for' (incorrect verb form and singular/plural mismatch). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are instances where sentence structure becomes slightly convoluted. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with grammatical precision.

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