Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph depicts the data about number of jobs (in millions) in four distinct sectors (i.e. manufacturing, retail, agriculture and health care) of US economy between the years 1960 and 2020.
Overall, it is clear that "Manufacturing" leads the graph with the highest number of jobs while, "Agriculture" was the least prefered category. On the other hand, the "retail" and the "healthcare" sectors also grew overtime.
The manufacturing of goods was the most popular starting with the exact figure of 15 million in the initial year (1960), it surged upwards and hit a peak of 20 millions in the year 1980 before getting dropped in the following years. The trend experienced a lowest point in the year 2020 oscillating between 10 to 20 million of jobs.
In terms of Retail and Healthcare the demographics show that the opportunities grew in the upcoming years. Both categories started of with around 2 to 6 million respectively but, became the most demanding in 2020 hovering around 16 millions. In contrast, Agriculture field was approximately 6 million in the starting but it witnessed a moderate drop around 1 to 2 millions in the final year 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the trends for all four sectors. You successfully identified the peak for manufacturing and the growth in retail and healthcare. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; stating that manufacturing 'leads' the graph in 2020 is incorrect, as the data shows retail and healthcare surpassed it by that time. Additionally, some data points are imprecise, such as describing the 2020 manufacturing figure as 'oscillating between 10 to 20 million' when the graph shows a specific point. To improve, ensure your overview reflects the final state of the data and be more precise when citing figures from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'In terms of', and 'In contrast' to signal shifts in focus. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'On the other hand' to introduce a summary point rather than a contrast. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the main trends. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that the progression of ideas between sentences is smoother.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'surged', 'oscillating', and 'witnessed a moderate drop'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'least prefered category' (which is subjective; 'lowest' is more appropriate for data) and 'demographics' (which refers to population characteristics, not job numbers). Additionally, 'starting of' should be 'starting off'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, more precise and academic terminology would enhance the quality of your report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'number of jobs... of US economy' (missing articles), '20 millions' (pluralization error), and 'getting dropped' (awkward passive construction). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are minor issues with comma placement. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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