Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The provided graph shows the quantitative data regarding the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph covers four sectors, namely, manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare, over four different timespans from 1960, 1980, 2000, and 2020. Showcasing the highest numbers of jobs in the manufacturing sector, reaching up to 20 million jobs, and numbers of jobs as low as 2 million.

The manufacturing sector commenced with 15 million jobs in the 1960s. which was followed by a rise in the job market, and the graph shows an up-drift reaching 20 million jobs in the 1980s.

After which it declined to 16 million jobs in the 2000s. and finally ending at its lowest, 13 million jobs, in 2020.

Whereas the retail sector starts at 6 million jobs in the 1960s. pushing its way up in the graph to the 10 million jobs in the 1980s. and to 15 million jobs in the 2000s. After which a slight updraft can be seen in the graph, making it over 15 million jobs in 2020.

The agriculture sector also starts at slightly over 5 million jobs in the 1960s. Following the series of downdrifts in this sector in the 1980s, the jobs were at 4 million, which stayed the same in the 2000s and further declined to 2.5 million in 2020.

The healthcare sector did well in its job market. It has the same trajectory as the retail sector but at lower numbers, commencing at 2.5 million jobs in the 1960s, 5 million in 1980, 11 million in 2000, and ending at slightly over 15 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and provides data for the requested years. You have successfully identified the main trends and made relevant comparisons, such as noting the healthcare sector's trajectory compared to retail. However, the overview is slightly weak; it is embedded within the introduction rather than being a distinct paragraph, and it lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant overall trend (e.g., the shift from manufacturing to service-based sectors). To reach a higher band, ensure the overview highlights the most striking differences or patterns across the entire period rather than just listing specific data points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized with each paragraph focusing on a specific sector. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, you frequently start sentences with 'The [sector] sector...' and use 'After which' as a transition, which makes the flow feel a bit disjointed. Furthermore, there are several instances of punctuation errors where sentences are incorrectly split by periods (e.g., '1960s. which was followed...'), which disrupts the flow of ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring correct sentence structure would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'quantitative data', 'commenced', 'trajectory', and 'up-drift'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'up-drift' is not standard academic terminology for describing graph trends; 'upward trend' or 'growth' would be more appropriate. Additionally, the phrase 'did well in its job market' is slightly informal for an Academic Task 1 report. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing when describing trends.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in punctuation and sentence boundaries. Specifically, you have a recurring habit of placing a period before a relative clause or a prepositional phrase (e.g., '1960s. which was followed...' and '1960s. pushing its way...'). These are sentence fragments that should be connected to the main clause. While you attempt complex structures, these persistent punctuation errors limit your score. Focus on mastering the use of commas and conjunctions to join clauses correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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