Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The figure illustrates the trend of workforce in the different sectors such as healthcare,agriculture , retail and manufacturing from 1960's to 2020.It can be observed that jobs in healthcare in US slightly increased by 0 to 5 from 1960 to 1980 at first but then showed a sharp increase to early 2000 and 2020.The retail sector showed a significant increase in jobs by 2020,however the trend declined sharply in agriculture sector.It could be because of limited situational awareness of benefits of agriculture sector.Although the manufacturing sector rose since 1960 to 1980 but declined onward to 2020.The manufacturing sector contributed the most in us economy in early times,but the least contributing sector to us economy in 2020 is agriculture.Healthcare still holds the potential and serving as a catalyst to economy.It should be more focused on to hit the sky-limits in order achieve goals and lead the industry.Healthcare industry will turn out to be a generate more number of jobs
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but it suffers from significant issues regarding task requirements. Firstly, you have included personal opinions and speculative reasoning (e.g., 'It could be because of limited situational awareness'), which is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report. The task requires an objective summary of data, not an analysis of causes or future predictions. Additionally, the data reporting is imprecise; phrases like '0 to 5' lack units or context, and the description of trends is vague. To improve, focus strictly on reporting the data provided and avoid adding external commentary or subjective advice on how sectors should perform.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay lacks a clear paragraph structure, appearing as a single block of text. While there is a basic attempt to sequence information, the progression is disjointed. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as the abrupt transition 'It should be more focused on to hit the sky-limits'. The lack of clear paragraphing makes the response difficult to follow. To improve, organize your writing into a clear introduction, an overview of the main trends, and separate paragraphs for specific data comparisons. Use linking words more naturally to connect ideas rather than just listing observations.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. You use some relevant terms like 'workforce', 'sectors', and 'catalyst', but there are also instances of awkward phrasing and non-academic language, such as 'hit the sky-limits'. There are also minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'generate more number of jobs'. To achieve a higher score, focus on using precise terminology for describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', 'peaked') and avoid informal or hyperbolic expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in us economy'), incorrect preposition usage, and tense inconsistencies. For example, 'Healthcare still holds the potential and serving as a catalyst' is grammatically incorrect. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that your complex sentences are constructed accurately. Proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and punctuation spacing will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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