Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail and Healthcare showed an upward trend over the period. In contrast, Manufacturing fluctuated while Agriculture declined.
Looking at the first Manufacturing it stood at 15 million job in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980. On the other hand in 1960 the about 5 million number of job sectors like Agriculture fall down in 1980 it reached approximately 4 million, however it remained steady form 1980 to 2000 and then it started drop again.
In terms of Retail, The figure started to rise up in 1960 then it spiked in 1980 with 20 million of job sectors, nevertheless, it saw declined between 1980 to 2020. In contrast healthcare started to climbing up dramatically in 1960 about 6 million of job employment figures then it reached roughly 15 million of job market by 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the upward movement of Retail and Healthcare and the decline of Agriculture. However, the report of the data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the description of Manufacturing as peaking in 1980 is correct, but the data points for Agriculture and Retail are often imprecise or misstated. The summary of the trends is generally accurate, but the lack of precision in reporting the figures prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that the data points cited directly correspond to the graph provided and avoid vague phrasing like 'about 5 million number of job sectors'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In contrast', 'However', and 'In terms of', which help guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'Looking at the first Manufacturing it stood at...' is grammatically clunky and impacts the smooth progression of ideas. The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing specific sectors. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help achieve a more natural flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is frequent repetition of phrases like 'number of job sectors' and 'job employment figures'. Some word choices are unnatural, such as 'spiked in 1980 with 20 million of job sectors' and 'started to climbing up'. These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a limited range of lexical items. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend', and avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('Agriculture fall down'), incorrect preposition usage ('in 1980 with 20 million'), and awkward sentence construction ('the about 5 million number of job sectors like Agriculture fall down'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure often feels disjointed. While the meaning remains clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence formation limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct sentence structure will significantly improve the quality of the writing.
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