Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail and Healthcare showed an upward trend over the period. In contrast, Manufacturing fluctuated while Agriculture declined.
Looking at the first Manufacturing it stood at 15 million job in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980. On the other hand in 1960 the about 5 million number of job sectors like Agriculture fall down in 1980 it reached approximately 4 million, however it remained steady form 1980 to 2000 and then it started drop again.
In terms of Retail, The figure started to rose up in 1960 then it spiked in 1980 with 20 million of job sectors, nevertheless, it saw declined between 1980 to 2020. In contrast healthcare started to climbing up dramatically in 1960 about 6 million of job employment figures then it reached roughly 15 million of job market by 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the upward movement of Retail and Healthcare and the decline of Agriculture. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the description of Manufacturing as 'fluctuating' is not well-supported by the data, and the claim that Retail 'declined between 1980 to 2020' contradicts the visual evidence of the graph. Furthermore, the reporting of figures is often imprecise or confusing, such as the phrasing '5 million number of job sectors'. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that the summary reflects the actual trends shown in the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In contrast', 'However', and 'In terms of', which help to guide the reader. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical errors. For example, the transition between sentences in the third paragraph is disjointed. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive or slightly forced, which prevents the flow from being entirely natural or sophisticated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. There is a reliance on basic descriptors like 'upward trend', 'climbing up', and 'spiked'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect, such as 'job sectors' used to refer to the number of jobs, and 'job market' used to refer to a specific figure. There are also errors in word formation, such as 'saw declined' instead of 'saw a decline'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing data, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant increase'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Agriculture fall down'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'started to rose up', 'started to climbing up'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the writing from achieving a higher score. Focusing on consistent verb tense usage and correct sentence structure will significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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