Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, Retail and Healthcare showed an upward trend over the period. In contrast, Manufacturing fluctuated while Agriculture declined.
Looking at the first Manufacturing it stood at 15 million job in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980. On the other hand in 1960 the about 5 million number of job markets like Agriculture fall down in 1980 it reached approximately 4 million, however it remained steady form 1980 to 2000 and then it started drop again.
In terms of Retail, The figure started to rise up in 1960 then it spiked in 1980 with 20 million of employment sector nevertheless, it saw declined between 1980 to 2020. In contrast healthcare started to climbing up dramatically in 1960 about 6 million of field of work figures then it reached roughly 15 million of job market by 2020
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the upward movement of Retail and Healthcare and the decline of Agriculture. However, the report of the data is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, the description of Manufacturing as peaking in 1980 is correct, but the description of Agriculture and Retail is confusing and does not accurately reflect the trends shown in the graph. The data points mentioned are sometimes vague or incorrectly interpreted, which limits the effectiveness of the summary. To improve, ensure that every figure cited is precise and that the trends described align strictly with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'Looking at the first Manufacturing' and 'in 1960 the about 5 million number of job markets' are awkward and disrupt the flow of information. While there is an attempt to use transition words such as 'In contrast' and 'nevertheless', the internal cohesion within sentences is frequently weak, making some parts of the response difficult to follow. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of basic terms like 'job' and 'market', and some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'climbing up dramatically' and 'employment sector'. Additionally, there are errors in word choice, such as 'job markets like Agriculture fall down'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more varied and precise terminology related to economic trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a downward trend', while avoiding repetitive or non-standard collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('it started drop again'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction ('the about 5 million number of job markets'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalisation. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct sentence formation will significantly improve your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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