Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates job ratios in four multi economy sectors of US throughout period 1960 to 2020.The graph depicts that employment figures for manufacturing is highest, whereas agriculture is at lowest in the ratio. On the other hand, jobs in retail and healthcare moderately lies in between the other two economy eras with the same highest figure.

Considering the given information, it is cleared that manufacturing area was soared at 15millions in 1960. It further escalated to 20 million in 1980, whereas in [redacted phone] it declined sharply to 13million. In contrast to agriculture, it decreased from 5 to 3 million in 1960 -1980, however it remained stable over the period [redacted phone] and then dropped to 2 million.

In contrast, employment in retail was initially at 6million which increased gradually and then stabilized itself at 16 million over the period [redacted phone]. On the other hand, healthcare was initially at a dropped ratio of 2 million in 1960, which comparatively climbed moderately to 16 ssmillion in 2020. Relatively, the highest job figures for both sectors of retail and healthcare remained same.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response provides a clear overview of the trends in the four sectors. You have successfully identified the main features, such as the rise and fall of manufacturing and the growth in healthcare. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state manufacturing 'soared at 15 millions' in 1960, but the graph shows it starting at approximately 18 million. Additionally, describing the sectors as 'economy eras' is confusing and inaccurate. While you cover all parts of the task, the precision of the data reporting needs improvement to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the other hand', 'In contrast', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'it is cleared that manufacturing area was soared'. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is functional, but the internal cohesion within sentences could be smoother. The use of referencing is generally clear, though some sentences feel slightly disjointed due to grammatical errors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'escalated', 'declined sharply', and 'stabilized'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'job ratios' instead of 'number of jobs', 'multi economy sectors', and 'dropped ratio'. The phrase 'ssmillion' is a clear typographical error. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'manufacturing is highest' (missing article), 'healthcare was initially at a dropped ratio' (awkward phrasing), and 'remained same' (missing article). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, for example, 'jobs in retail and healthcare moderately lies'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader and indicate a lack of control over complex structures.

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