Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The graph provides information about the four sectors of the economy manufacturing, retail; agriculture, healthcare, selecting and reporting of jobs in US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, in which the four sectore of economy retail portion are surge steadily at the three points and than marginally drop. However, as compared to healthcare sector are declined slightly number of jobs in the US.
Firstly, in 1960 retail and agriculture fall at the same points showed a upward steady trend the jobs in the million both same at the rate of 15 between 1960 and 2020. Secondly, manufacturing are the starting point was a sharp rise in the million of jobs are 20 as campare to other sectors due to the fact that showed a downward trend in 1980 to 2020. Furthermore, healthcare sector 1960 jobs in millions 5 are gradually decreased 1980 to 2020 are remaining constant.
In comparison, retail over and above that agriculture are better selecting and reporting US jobs in millions from 1960 to 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the task but fails to accurately report the data. The description of trends is often contradictory or confusing, such as stating that retail and agriculture 'fall at the same points' while also mentioning an 'upward steady trend'. The data interpretation is frequently incorrect; for instance, the claim that the healthcare sector 'gradually decreased' contradicts typical graph trends for that sector. The overview is poorly constructed and lacks a clear summary of the main features, making it difficult for the reader to grasp the overall picture of the economic changes. The response lacks the precision required for an Academic Task 1 report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is severely hampered by confusing sentence structures and poor use of cohesive devices. Transitions like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Furthermore' are used, but they do not help organize the information logically because the content within the sentences is often incoherent. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the relationship between the ideas is difficult to follow. The overall structure lacks a clear flow, and the lack of clarity in the main body paragraphs makes it hard to identify the key information being presented.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which leads to significant confusion. Phrases like 'selecting and reporting of jobs' and 'retail portion are surge steadily' demonstrate a lack of control over basic collocations and word forms. There is no evidence of a range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends or data. Many words are used in contexts where they do not make sense, such as 'better selecting and reporting US jobs'. The repetition of basic terms and the misuse of technical vocabulary significantly impede the reader's understanding of the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that make the text very difficult to read. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'manufacturing are the starting point'), tense usage, and sentence construction. Many sentences are fragmented or lack a clear grammatical structure, such as 'in which the four sectore of economy retail portion are surge steadily'. There is almost no evidence of complex sentence structures, and the errors in basic grammar are so frequent that they constantly distort the meaning of the sentences.
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