Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs between the time time period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is shown that the there are four jobs chosen and figured in the graph which are manufacturing ; retail jobs; agriculture; and health care.

So, according to the figure the most high record achieved in the number of millions is by manufacturing one that had started from 15 million jobs in 1960 and reached to hardly to 20 million in the year 1980; But it dramatically dropped to approximately 13 million in 2020. Which is clearly shown in the graph.

If we take look to the retail job so it has been continuously increasing from 6 million jobs to about 16 million jobs from the 1960 to 2020. Similarly the Health care jobs shows that it was started from almost 2 million jobs and has strictly increasing till 2020 to exact 16 million jobs and had only one million gap from the 2000 to 2020 as 15 to 16 million jobs. The thing that is a little noticeable about the agriculture jobs that have been surely decreased in the number if millions from the 1960 starting from 6 million jibs and came to almost only one million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise in retail and health care and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is weak; it merely lists the sectors rather than highlighting the significant shifts or the overall contrast between the sectors. The description of the data is sometimes inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that manufacturing 'hardly' reached 20 million or the awkward phrasing regarding the 'one million gap' in health care. To reach a higher band, you must provide a clear, analytical overview that synthesizes the main trends rather than just listing data points. Ensure that all figures are described with precision and clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by repetitive sentence structures and awkward transitions. Phrases like 'If we take look to the retail job' and 'The thing that is a little noticeable' are informal and do not effectively guide the reader through the data. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as the abrupt transition between the manufacturing and retail sections. The paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically on the previous one is essential.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. There are several instances of awkward word choices and phrasing, such as 'most high record', 'strictly increasing', and 'jibs' (a typo for jobs). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying heavily on simple verbs like 'increased' or 'decreased'. To improve, you should incorporate more varied reporting verbs and nouns related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'downward trend', or 'significant growth'. Additionally, proofreading is necessary to eliminate basic spelling errors that detract from the professional tone of the report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the there are four jobs', 'reached to hardly to 20 million', and 'the Health care jobs shows that it was started'. Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that articles (a/an/the) are used correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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