Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The multi-line chart illustrates the number of employment opportunities in Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of Us economy from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the employment rate gradually rise in retail and medical care unit and reached at same point in 2020. Whereas, the other two industries such as manufacturing and agriculture showed a decline trend.

Turning to toward the increasing trend, the healthcare sector begun from about two million in 1960 and reached to around ten millions jobs in 2000, before expanding to about fifteen millions in 2020. While, the jobs opportunities in retail business sharply rose from about five million to fifteen million between 1960 and 2000. After twenty years, the rate minimally grew and reached to approximately 15.5 millions.

Moving toward the remaining categories, the amount post in Agriculture industries steadily decreased from around five millions to about four millions, within the timeframe of 40 years and the figure stabilized at that rate for next twenty years. Then, In the next twenty years the amount slightly went down to about 3 millions. Meanwhile, the jobs opportunities in manufacturing section in first forty years significantly stepped up from fifteen millions to twenty millions , before steeply reducing upto fourteen millions in the next 40 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends effectively. The overview provides a clear summary of the contrasting movements in the sectors. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting; for example, stating that retail and medical care reached the 'same point' in 2020 is not supported by the graph, as the lines are distinct. Additionally, the description of the manufacturing sector's peak is slightly imprecise. Despite these minor data interpretation issues, the main features are highlighted, and the response is well-structured to meet the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the increasing sectors to the decreasing ones. Cohesive devices such as 'Turning to', 'While', and 'Meanwhile' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to group related information. While the flow is generally smooth, there are occasional instances where the connection between sentences could be more refined to improve the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts to use sector-specific terminology like 'employment opportunities' and 'industries'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'medical care unit' instead of 'healthcare sector' and 'amount post in Agriculture'. There are also minor errors in pluralization, such as 'millions' instead of 'million' when used with a specific number. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'healthcare sector begun' (began) and 'rate minimally grew'. Punctuation errors are also present, including unnecessary commas and spacing issues before periods. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching a higher band. A greater focus on proofreading for tense consistency and basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.

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