Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the number of jobs across four sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare of the economy from 1960 to 2020 in the US.
Overall, Manufacturing and Agriculture sector experiencing downward slope across 1960 to 2020, while Retail and healthcare sectors have upward slope. Manufacturing sector accounted for 15 million jobs which is highest compared to other sectors in the year 1960.
In 1960, Healthcare jobs are least, less than 5 million and agriculture and retail jobs are constant which is accounted to around 5 million. For the year, 1980, the manufacturing sector opportunities are at peak with 20 million number of jobs, followed by retails which is accounted 10 million jobs, It holds second highest position, then, lowest for agriculture with under 5 million and healthcare is contributed 5 million jobs. Agriculture sector facing downtime in both the year 2000 and 2020 with lower than 5 million jobs, conversely, healthcare and retail sector booming in the year 2020 by 15 million jobs in the market.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the overview is slightly underdeveloped and lacks precision in describing the overall patterns. While you mention the downward and upward slopes, the specific data points provided are sometimes inaccurate or confusingly phrased, such as stating that agriculture and retail were 'constant' in 1960 when the graph shows distinct differences. To reach a higher band, ensure that the data selected is accurate and that the overview provides a clearer summary of the most significant trends rather than just listing individual points.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition between sentences often relies on simple structures like 'In 1960' or 'For the year 1980'. The logical progression is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, such as the transition between the description of 1980 and the final summary of 2000/2020. Using a wider variety of linking words and improving the flow between sentences would enhance the coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic descriptors like 'downward slope', 'upward slope', and 'booming'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'downtime' (which usually refers to machine inactivity rather than a downward trend) and 'contributed 5 million jobs'. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'experienced a significant decline'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include missing articles ('in the year 1960'), subject-verb agreement ('Healthcare jobs are least'), and awkward sentence construction ('which is accounted to around 5 million'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and ensuring correct verb tenses will help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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