Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020 over the period of period of century.
Overall, it is clear that Manufacturing experienced a significant fluctuation, whereas Agriculture showed the opposite pattern. Additionally, Healthcare and Retail experienced gradual increase throughout the period.
Looking at data in detail, Manufacturing started with highest job sector with 15 million in 1960. This figure rose sharply in 1980 and declined steeply to reach approximately 14 million jobs by 2020. In contrast, Healthcare and Retail started with 3 million job and 6 million jobs in the initial year before increasing marginally to 15 million jobs in 2020, which is the highest in the final year.
Furthermore, Agriculture and Retail jobs sector converged in 1960 by 6 million jobs but agriculture went down drastically and became the lowest job sector by 2020 with only 3 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies key trends such as the rise of Healthcare and Retail and the decline of Agriculture. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; for instance, it describes Manufacturing as having a 'significant fluctuation' when the data shows a rise followed by a decline, and it incorrectly states that Agriculture and Retail converged in 1960 (the graph shows them at different points). While the main features are reported, the lack of precision in describing the data points and the misinterpretation of the starting values limit the score. The response would benefit from more careful data extraction to ensure the summary is factually accurate.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Additionally', 'Looking at data in detail', and 'In contrast' are used to guide the reader through the information. However, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'converged in 1960 by 6 million jobs', which is confusingly phrased. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the general overview to specific details. To improve, ensure that the transition between sentences is smoother and that the relationships between data points are described with greater clarity.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, using terms like 'fluctuation', 'marginally', 'converged', and 'drastically'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'highest job sector' (should be 'sector with the highest number of jobs') and 'over the period of period of century' (which is redundant and inaccurate). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations when describing economic trends and avoid repetitive or redundant phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('in US', 'started with 3 million job'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('Agriculture and Retail jobs sector converged'). While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency. To reach a higher band, focus on consistent use of articles, correct pluralization, and ensuring that complex sentence structures are grammatically sound. Proofreading for small errors like 'period of period' would also be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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