Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number jobs given in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.it is measured in millions which contributed in US economy.

In general, manufacturing was at peak in 1960 and had shown massive growth among others. Healthcare and retail showed steady in all years . And agriculture drop by 2020.

Manufacturing in 1960 was at 15 millions by 1980 it reached at 20 millions after that fell gradually and by 2020 it was only 13 millions.

Retail and healthcare started at different values 6 millions and 2 millions respectively. In 2020 both reached same level more than 15 millions. But Agriculture showed different trend it want on decline by 2020 only less 2 millions were working.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends for the four sectors, the analysis is quite brief and lacks the depth required for a higher band. You have correctly highlighted the decline in agriculture and the growth in healthcare and retail, but the overview is somewhat simplistic. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive summary of the data, including more specific comparisons between the sectors at different time intervals. The under-length nature of the response means that the task is only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. You rely on simple conjunctions like 'and' or 'but' to link ideas. To improve, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as 'in contrast,' 'subsequently,' or 'meanwhile,' to create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the lack of sophisticated cohesive devices limits the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and lacks variety. You use basic terms like 'growth,' 'drop,' and 'reached.' While these are accurate, they do not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary. There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'it want on decline' (should be 'it went into decline'). To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary, such as 'fluctuated,' 'surpassed,' 'a downward trend,' or 'remained stable.' Expanding your range of synonyms will help you describe the data more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For instance, 'it is measured in millions which contributed in US economy' is grammatically awkward, and 'it want on decline' contains a verb error. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences and incorrect spacing. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Aim to construct more complex sentences with accurate punctuation to demonstrate better control over your grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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