Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graphe illustrates and compares the number of employment opportunity in four areas in the US economy from 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the data witness fluctuation in job sector in us economy. The manufacturing sector accounted maximum jobs, whereas less job has recorded in the agriculture sector in US economy.
Initially, in the 1960 the manufacturing sector in recorded 15 million jobs. The number had rose to 20 million jobs in 1980, which witness gradual dicline till 2020 and fall below 15 million. However, agriculture sector recorded above 5 million in 1960 and decrease gradualy to half a million till 2020.
On probing further, retail and healthcare had grew parlly. in year 1960 the reatail sector recorded above 5 million and surged to 15 million jiobs in 2000 and remaind unchanged till 2020. Healthcare had recorded half a million in 1960 and increased to 5 million in 1980. Moreover, the numbers had surged to above 15 million jobs till 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the decline in manufacturing and agriculture alongside the growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is somewhat weak; it lacks a clear summary of the most significant changes, such as the dramatic rise of the healthcare sector compared to the decline of others. While the main features are reported, some data points are slightly imprecise, and the comparison between sectors could be more explicitly highlighted to better meet the requirements of a Band 7 response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving from the declining sectors to the growing ones. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive (e.g., 'Initially', 'On probing further'). Additionally, there are some issues with referencing and sentence-level flow, such as the abrupt transition between the description of the retail and healthcare sectors. Paragraphing is present, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved to better link the data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks sophistication. There are several spelling errors, such as 'graphe', 'dicline', 'gradualy', 'parlly', 'reatail', and 'remaind'. These errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. While the student attempts to use sector-specific terminology like 'manufacturing' and 'agriculture', the repetition of basic verbs like 'recorded' and 'increased' limits the lexical variety. To reach a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate more precise control over vocabulary and ensure accurate spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Examples include 'The data witness fluctuation' (subject-verb agreement), 'The number had rose' (incorrect tense), 'less job has recorded' (pluralization and passive voice issues), and 'healthcare had grew' (incorrect verb form). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. Improving accuracy in verb tenses and subject-verb agreement is essential for a higher score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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