Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four different categories of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clearly evident that manafacturing is on of the highest sector which gets job first, after than retail and agriculture initiated from above 5 millions and both of them fluctuated one went upward and one went downward.
In addition, healthcare is the only sector which started from 0 and it drastically increased and went at peak around 16 million. Meanwhile, manafacturing is the only sector which started from the highest and it rose for about 20 years and after 1980 it moderately declined. However, retail and healthcare both of them begun from 6 million and both went oppositely to each other retail steadily climed and healthcare fell down and went to 0 million in 2020. In 2020, agriculture and retail sectors are the highest sectors which got jobs in US between 1960 and 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to summarise the main features, but there are significant inaccuracies in the interpretation of the data. For example, you state that healthcare started at 0 and peaked at 16 million, and that retail and healthcare moved in opposite directions, which contradicts the provided graph. Furthermore, the summary of the final year (2020) is factually incorrect based on the visual data. While you identify the four sectors, the failure to accurately report the trends and data points prevents a clear overview. To improve, focus on carefully tracing the lines from start to finish and ensuring your descriptions of trends (e.g., 'rose', 'declined') match the actual visual evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, which provides a basic structure. However, the logical progression is hindered by the inaccurate reporting of data. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In addition', 'Meanwhile', and 'However', but they are sometimes used mechanically or to connect ideas that are factually confusing. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow of the second paragraph is disjointed due to the contradictory statements about the sectors. Improving the accuracy of your data reporting will naturally help the coherence of your writing, as the relationships between the trends will become clearer to the reader.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'highest', 'started', and 'increased'. There are also spelling errors such as 'manafacturing' and 'climed'. While you attempt to use some descriptive language like 'drastically' and 'moderately', these are often paired with incorrect data points, which undermines the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider variety of verbs and adverbs to describe trends (e.g., 'surged', 'plummeted', 'gradual increase') and ensure that your spelling is accurate throughout the response.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'manafacturing is on of the highest sector which gets job first' and 'both of them begun from 6 million'. Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are inconsistent. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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