Band 8.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 8.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 8.5)

The line graph illustrates changes in employment levels (in millions) across four key economic sectors in the United States - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and Healthcare - from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing and agriculture experienced a long-term decline in jobs, while healthcare showed consistent growth. Retail employment rose steadily until around 2000 before plateauing and slightly declining thereafter.

In 1960, manufacturing was the largest employer among the four sectors, with approximately 15 million jobs. It peaked at around 20 million in 1980, after which it declined steadily to roughly 13 million by 2020. In contrast, agriculture started with about 6 million jobs in 1960 and fell sharply to just under 2 million by 2020 - a reduction of over two-thirds.

Healthcare began with the fewest jobs (around 2 million) in 1960 but demonstrated uninterrupted growth, rising to approximately 16 million by 2020 - surpassing manufacturing as the largest sector by the end of the period. Retail employment grew from about 6 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020, though its trajectory was not linear: it increased steadily until 2000 (reaching ~15 million), then levelled off and dipped slightly to 15.5 million by 2020 - still higher than in 1960 but marginally below its 2000 peak.

Notably, healthcare overtook retail around 2010 and surpassed manufacturing by 2020, reflecting a structural shift toward service- and care-based employment in the US economy over the six decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 8.5

The response is excellent. You have successfully identified all four sectors and provided a clear overview of the trends. The data is accurately selected and reported, with effective comparisons made between the sectors, such as noting that healthcare surpassed manufacturing by the end of the period. The inclusion of specific figures (e.g., '15 million', '6 million') supports your points well. You have fully addressed all parts of the prompt, ensuring the main features are highlighted without unnecessary detail. The structural shift mentioned in the conclusion provides a sophisticated summary of the data presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 8.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, a concise overview, and two well-structured body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is smooth, moving from the general trends to specific sector analysis. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'while', and 'though' are used naturally to link ideas and contrast data points. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the different sectors, making the information easy to follow. There is no evidence of mechanical or repetitive use of linking words, and the referencing is clear throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 8.0

You demonstrate a wide and precise range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic task. Phrases such as 'uninterrupted growth', 'structural shift', 'trajectory was not linear', and 'levelled off' show a high level of lexical control. The vocabulary is used naturally and accurately to describe trends and changes in the data. There are no spelling errors, and the word choice is consistently sophisticated, contributing to a professional and academic tone throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 8.5

The response exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with high accuracy. You effectively use complex sentences, such as 'Retail employment grew from about 6 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2020, though its trajectory was not linear', which are error-free. Punctuation is used correctly to manage clauses and lists. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and the few minor slips that might occur in such a task are absent here. Your control over tense and subject-verb agreement is consistent and precise.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.