Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph compares four sectors of the US economy in terms of the number of jobs between 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is clear that the four sectors show job vacancies in the economy between 1960 and 2020. The manufacturing sector initiated jobs moderately, with the number of 15 jobs, and the number of jobs increased slightly by the end of 1980. Additionally, jobs started to decline till 2020. The agriculture sector was offering 6 jobs in 1960, which declined steadily to 3 jobs in 2020.
Moreover, the retail and health sectors sharply increased the number of jobs over the years. The health sector started with 2 jobs in 1960; this sector showed a dramatic rise in jobs to 16, which is five times higher than the agriculture sector. The health sector showed significant growth in terms of jobs from 6 jobs in 1960 to 15 jobs in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors mentioned in the graph, but the analysis is somewhat superficial. While you identify trends, the reporting of data points is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, you mention the health sector started at 2 jobs and rose to 16, but then immediately state it grew from 6 to 15, which is contradictory and confusing. Furthermore, the term 'job vacancies' is used incorrectly; the graph shows the total number of jobs, not vacancies. To improve, ensure you accurately extract data from the graph and provide a clearer overview of the main trends, such as the clear divergence between the declining sectors (agriculture/manufacturing) and the growing ones (retail/health).
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'Additionally', the connection between sentences is occasionally mechanical. The internal logic within the final paragraph is particularly weak due to the contradictory data points mentioned earlier. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that the information within each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next without repeating or contradicting previous statements.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dramatic rise', 'steadily', and 'significant growth'. However, there are issues with word choice and precision. Using 'initiated jobs' to describe the starting point of a sector is unnatural, and the misuse of 'job vacancies' instead of 'number of jobs' impacts the accuracy of your report. You also repeat the word 'jobs' frequently throughout the text. To improve, try to use synonyms like 'employment figures', 'positions', or 'workforce numbers' to add variety and demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'The agriculture sector was offering 6 jobs in 1960, which declined steadily to 3 jobs in 2020.' While there are some grammatical errors, such as 'the number of 15 jobs' (which should be 'a total of 15 million jobs' or similar), these do not generally impede communication. You have a reasonable grasp of tense usage for describing past trends. To improve, focus on ensuring that your sentence structures are consistently accurate and avoid awkward phrasing like 'the number of 15 jobs'.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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