Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs across four sectors in the US economy over a 60-year period, from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthcare sectors offers the largest source of employment, increasing throughout the given period. In contrast, agriculture provided the least number of jobs and witnessed a downward trend. Similarly, manufacturing reflected variations in the jobs number.
In 1960, Manufacturing was the highest sector for providing jobs, at approximately 15 million in numbers, followed by retail and agriculture domains having equal number of jobs, roughly 5 million. In contrast, healthcare was the least source for number of jobs with only about 2 million.
In 2020, retail and healthcare sectors showcased a remarkable upward trend with both having approximately 15 million jobs. Conversely, manufacturing department fell to 12 million jobs, while reaching apex in 1980 with 20 million jobs. Similarly, agriculture sector declined substantially sitting at just 2 million jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all parts of the task and identifies the main trends for the four sectors. You successfully highlight the growth in retail and healthcare, the decline in agriculture, and the fluctuations in manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you state that retail and healthcare 'offers' the largest source of employment throughout the period, but the graph shows they were not the largest in 1960. A more precise overview would note that while manufacturing dominated initially, the service-oriented sectors overtook it by the end of the period. Ensure your summary reflects the data accurately across the entire timeframe.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on 1960 and 2020 respectively. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the time periods. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Similarly', and 'Conversely' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, though the connection between the 1960 data and the 2020 data could be smoother to better highlight the shift in the economy over the 60-year span.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'downward trend', 'upward trend', and 'substantially'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'manufacturing department' (should be 'sector') and 'at approximately 15 million in numbers' (the 'in numbers' is redundant). Additionally, there is a subject-verb agreement error in the overview: 'retail and healthcare sectors offers' should be 'offer'. Improving your precision with sector-specific terminology and ensuring grammatical agreement will help elevate your score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips. For instance, 'retail and healthcare sectors offers' (subject-verb agreement), 'the least source for number of jobs' (awkward phrasing), and 'manufacturing department fell to 12 million jobs, while reaching apex in 1980' (missing article 'the' before 'apex'). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band. Focusing on articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement will improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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