Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate data about job holders in four different sectors in US from1960 to 2020
Overall, retail and healtcare sector gives upward trend with the span of time but remaining two fields shows downward trend with passing time.
In firstly we see that manufacturing start with 15 millions in 1960 and it went up to 20 millions in 1980 afterwards it start declining at end it goes down to abou 13 millions.while we examine that agriculture start with just above 5 millions and it declining rapidly upto just 2 millions in the end of the duration.
On the other side we studied data that visualize retail sector start with same point as agriculture but it rose frequently by passing years and it went up to just above 15 millions in the year 2020 while healthcare sector start it numbers from just about 2 millions and reaches same level as retail within same duration.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying which sectors increased and which decreased. However, the data reporting is inconsistent and contains inaccuracies. For instance, stating that manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980 is not clearly supported by the visual, and the description of the retail sector starting at the same point as agriculture is imprecise. While the main features are highlighted, the lack of precision in data points and the failure to provide a comprehensive comparison between all four sectors throughout the period limits the development of the response. To improve, ensure that data points are cited more accurately and that the comparison between sectors is more systematic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or awkward, such as 'In firstly we see' and 'On the other side we studied data'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly within the second paragraph where the transition between sectors feels abrupt. While there is an attempt to use linking words, they are not always used with sufficient flexibility or accuracy to ensure a smooth flow of information. Improving the variety and naturalness of cohesive devices will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors, such as 'healtcare' and 'abou', and some awkward phrasing like 'rose frequently by passing years'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic descriptors like 'upward trend' and 'downward trend'. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', or 'remained stable', and ensure that spelling and word choice are more accurate to avoid distracting the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('The line graph illustrate', 'manufacturing start', 'healthcare sector start'), missing articles, and incorrect verb tenses ('it declining', 'it rose frequently'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of basic grammatical errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage will lead to immediate improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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