Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs available in four sectors of the economy namely manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US from 1960 to 2020. Figures are presented in millions.
Overall, it is evident that retail and healthcare increased significantly over the period, whereas manufacturing and agriculture declined within the given timeframe.
Regarding, manufacturing and retail, manufacturing stood at 15 million in 1960, then it rose slightly to 20 million in 1980 and it maintained a downward trend before reaching 2020 at roughly 14 million. However, retail reported a value below 7 million, it rose significant to 15 million in 2000. following this, retail overtook manufacturing sector before reaching 2020 at a value around 16 million.
Turning to agriculture and health care, agriculture recorded a value around 6 million, then it declined fairly to an approximately figure of 4 million in 1980 and it maintained an similar value to 2000. Meanwhile, it dipped slightly to roughly 2 million in 2020. Healthcare reported roughly 3 million in 1960, it overtook agriculture then rose substantailly to a value below 11 million in 2000. Similarly, it maintained this trend reaching a figure around 16 million in 2020, where it shared similar figure with retail.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all key features of the graph, including the overall trends and specific data points for the four sectors. You successfully identified the main trends: the growth in retail and healthcare versus the decline in manufacturing and agriculture. The overview is clear and provides a good summary of the data. However, some data points are slightly imprecise, such as describing a value as 'an approximately figure' or 'a value below 11 million' when more specific estimations could be made. To reach a higher band, ensure that all comparisons are clearly linked to the specific years provided in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on paired sectors. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Turning to', 'Meanwhile', and 'Following this' helps guide the reader through the information. However, there are some minor issues with punctuation and sentence structure, such as the comma usage after 'Regarding' and the run-on sentence structure in the second paragraph ('...in 1960, it overtook agriculture...'). Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'increased significantly', 'downward trend', and 'substantially'. There are some minor errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'substantailly' (spelling) and 'an similar value' (article usage). Additionally, the phrasing 'an approximately figure' is grammatically incorrect. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, incorporating more precise academic collocations would elevate the response. Focus on using more varied verbs for trends, such as 'plummeted' or 'fluctuated', where appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing sector') and comma splices. For example, 'Retail reported a value below 7 million, it rose significant to 15 million' should be two separate sentences or joined with a conjunction. The use of 'it' as a subject is repetitive throughout the body paragraphs. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.