Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the details of economic activity in the US job markets in manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare industries during the period of 1960 to 2020.

Overall, retail and healthcare industries job market had been popularised over the sixty years period, while at the beginning manufacuring was the most created job opportunities, and over the period it had decreased slightly. Agriculture was the most underrated sector, and number of jobs had been declined gradually.

Regarding the retail and healthcare, in 1960, retial jobs were just above the 5 million, whereas healthcare was just below the 3 million. during the six decades, job markest of both industries rose, and both tookover the manufacturing sector between roughly 2005, and 2010. Finally, in 2020 both were in the peak of around 15 milion jobs, and contibuted as most popular job produce sectors.

On the other hand, manufactuing and agriculture sectors popularity had plunged throughout the period. Manufacturing sector was the highest job creating sector at the initial stage, it was 15 million, reaching to 20 million at 1980, which was the highest ever job market peaked amount and gradually declined the popularity during the period and reached to around 12 million in 2020, Whereas agriculture industry was about 5 million on 1960 continuously declined the jobs and reached at approximately 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture and manufacturing. However, there are inaccuracies in data reporting. For instance, you state manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, but the graph shows it peaking closer to 18 million. Additionally, the description of the trends is somewhat repetitive, and the term 'underrated' is inappropriate for describing statistical data. To improve, ensure data points are read precisely and use more objective, analytical language to describe the trends rather than subjective descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices like 'Regarding the retail and healthcare' and 'On the other hand' helps guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and there are issues with referencing and sentence-level flow. For example, 'job markest of both industries rose' is slightly disjointed from the previous sentence. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by varying the linking phrases and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to the intended subjects.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'illustrates', 'economic activity', and 'plunged'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'popularised over the sixty years period', 'job produce sectors', and 'highest ever job market peaked amount'. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoid inventing phrases that do not sound natural in English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing', 'the retail'), subject-verb agreement ('number of jobs had been declined'), and prepositions ('at the beginning', 'in 1960'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary commas used in several places (e.g., 'between roughly 2005, and 2010'). These errors occur throughout the text, though they do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points.

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