Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates number of jobs across four different sectors of the economy in the US between year 1960 and 2020. The numbers are majored in millions.
Overall, it can be seen that, the manufacturing jobs accounted highest between the several years but it did not lasts long, at end the highest amount was recorded by retail and healthcare jobs. In contrast, the agricultural field faces lows all the way from 1960 to 2020.
Firstly, from analysis, it can be seen that the manufacturing jobs started at 15 million, which peak highest in year 1980 accounted 20 million, but as time passes it downgrade to around 13 millions in the end year of 2020. However, the agriculture fields only show the downward progress between years, in starting it was accounted 6 million but at end of year 2020 it came closely to 2 million.
Furthermore, the fields like retail and healthcare shows the different approaches. The retail jobs were counted around 6 million in starting but at end it grows up till 16 million. following side, the health care jobs are grown from 3 million to same as retail, accounted around 15.50 million in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the rise in retail and healthcare and the decline in agriculture. However, the overview is slightly confusing; stating that manufacturing 'accounted highest' but then saying it 'did not last long' is imprecise. Additionally, the data reporting is occasionally inaccurate, such as claiming manufacturing peaked in 1980 at 20 million when the graph shows a different trajectory. To improve, ensure that the overview clearly highlights the most significant trends without contradictory language and double-check the data points to ensure accuracy in reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'In contrast', though some transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'following side'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing within sentences could be smoother. For example, the phrase 'at end the highest amount was recorded' lacks a clear subject. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would help the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to describe trends (e.g., 'downward progress', 'grows up'). However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and non-standard collocations, such as 'numbers are majored in millions' (should be 'measured') and 'it did not lasts long'. The use of 'downgrade' to describe a drop in job numbers is also imprecise. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the manufacturing jobs', 'the agriculture fields') and verb tenses ('it did not lasts', 'the fields... shows'). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding article usage and verb tense consistency.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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