Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The provided line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors namely manufacturing, retal, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US, from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is evident that the retal and healthcare sector showed an upward ternd throughout the period, whereas agreiculture followed the opposite ternd. Moreover, manufacturing field recorded the highest number of jobs in first two decades, after that it was declining gradually.
Looking first at 15 million jobs provided by secondry sector in 1960, 20 million in 1980 and from 2000 to 2020, decline gradually, at reached below 15 million. In addition, in 1960, the retail and agriculture sector provided same range of jobs at aroud 5 million, but next 6 decades, both sectors followed the opposite ternd
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is incomplete. You mention the manufacturing sector but fail to provide data for the healthcare sector, which is a key component of the graph. Furthermore, the description of the data is somewhat vague; for instance, you mention 'same range of jobs' without clearly contrasting the specific figures for agriculture and retail. To improve, ensure you cover all four sectors mentioned in the prompt and provide specific data points to support your comparisons, ensuring the response is sufficiently developed to meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into an introduction, an overview, and a body paragraph. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of a clear structure for the body paragraph. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall' and 'In addition', the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical. The final sentence is incomplete and lacks a clear conclusion, which disrupts the flow of information. To improve, use more varied linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus, perhaps separating the trends into two distinct body paragraphs to improve logical progression.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
There is a limited range of vocabulary, and there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'retal' (retail), 'ternd' (trend), 'agreiculture' (agriculture), and 'secondry' (secondary). These errors are frequent and occasionally distract the reader. While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'sectors' and 'economy', the repetition of basic terms and the spelling inaccuracies limit the score. To improve, focus on proofreading your work to eliminate basic spelling mistakes and try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to demonstrate a more flexible range of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For example, 'manufacturing field recorded' should be 'the manufacturing sector recorded', and 'at reached below' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing data trends. Ensure that every sentence has a clear subject and a correctly conjugated verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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