Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the information about the employment in four sectors of economic background in the United State between the years from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, it is inferred that the healthcare and retail sector shown the significant growth over 60 years. While, agriculture sector depicted slightly declined. Whereas, manufacturing sector reported the highest amount of jobs in the beginning of period.
At first glance, manufacturing sector accounted 15 millions in 1960. Then, it was slightly increased to 20 millions which was the largest amount of jobs in 1980. In 2000 to 2020, it was dramatically reduced to 20 millions to 13 millions approximately. Furthermore, agriculture sector remained the least number of jobs. it was stood at 6 millions in 1960. After that, it was slightly declined to 3 millions and remained same in 1980 to 2000. Lastly, it dropped to 2 millions in 2020.
Moving towards further details, retail sector had 6 millions jobs in 1960. It was dramatically inclined to 10 millions in 1980, 15 millions in 2000 and around 16 millions in 2020. Moreover, healthcare sector reported at the bottom nearly 3 millions in 1960. In addition, it dramatically climb at 5 millions in 1980, 11 millions in 2000 and 16 millions in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all four sectors and identifies the main trends, such as the growth in healthcare and retail and the decline in manufacturing. However, the overview is slightly weak; while it mentions the trends, it lacks a clear synthesis of the most significant changes. The data reporting is generally accurate, though there are some minor inaccuracies in the figures cited (e.g., stating manufacturing was 20 million in 1980 when the graph shows a different peak). The response successfully highlights the key features, but the analysis could be more precise to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'At first glance,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Moving towards further details,' though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sectors, which helps the reader follow the comparison. Overall, the structure is functional and supports the development of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, with attempts at descriptive verbs like 'dramatically inclined' and 'slightly declined.' However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'economic background' instead of 'economic sectors,' and 'dramatically climb' instead of 'climbed.' The use of 'inclined' is also incorrect in this context; 'increased' or 'rose' would be more appropriate. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, the lack of precision and occasional misuse of terms prevent a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and passive voice constructions, such as 'sector shown the significant growth' (should be 'showed') and 'it was stood at' (should be 'it stood at'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. A greater focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would improve the accuracy of the writing.
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