Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph, given below, illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four sectors of the industry in the US during 1960 and 2020.

As per the given information, the number of manufacturing jobs was 15 in 1960 but increased to 20 by 1980 and further decreased to below 15 by 2000 and 2020. The number of retail jobs was 5 in 1960 but it increased to more than 15 during 1980, 2000 and 2020. The number of agriculture jobs was about 5 in 1960 but it decreased to less than 5 till 2020. The number of healthcare jobs was between 0 and 5 in 1960 but it further increased to 15 till 2020.

The retail and healthcare has the same and higher number of jobs. The agriculture has least number of jobs. The manufacturing has highest 20 jobs by 1980 but it decreased to less than 15 in 2000 and 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the task by identifying the four sectors and describing their trends. However, the analysis is quite mechanical and lacks a clear overview of the main trends. The data reporting is somewhat repetitive, listing figures for each sector without synthesising the information effectively. While the key features are mentioned, the comparison between sectors is limited, and the summary lacks a cohesive 'big picture' perspective. To improve, you should group the sectors by their trends (e.g., those that increased versus those that declined) and provide a more analytical summary in the introduction or as a separate overview paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into three short paragraphs, which is a logical structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very limited and repetitive. You rely heavily on 'The number of...' to start almost every sentence, which makes the writing feel mechanical and monotonous. There is a lack of linking words or phrases to connect ideas or show contrast between the sectors. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', 'Conversely', 'Furthermore') and vary your sentence structure to improve the flow of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but quite basic and repetitive. You use the same phrases repeatedly, such as 'number of... jobs was... in 1960'. There is little attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'remained stable', 'experienced a downward trend'). The word choice is functional but lacks the precision and variety expected at higher levels. To improve, try to incorporate more descriptive verbs and nouns related to data analysis to avoid repeating the same sentence patterns throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response uses simple sentence structures almost exclusively. While the grammar is generally understandable, there are several errors, such as missing articles ('The agriculture has least number of jobs') and subject-verb agreement issues ('The retail and healthcare has...'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which limits your ability to demonstrate grammatical range. To improve, focus on using a mix of simple and complex sentences, and pay closer attention to articles and pluralisation. Incorporating relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions would help demonstrate a better command of English grammar.

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