Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph present bellow describes the jobs information in US about the four different sector of the economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, number of jobs in these sectors keep fluctuating over the period of time. Jobs related to healthcare and retail got rise sharply over the time and reached on their peak in 2020. While manufacturing and agriculture were keep falling.

Jobs related to manufacturing were on peak in 1980 about 20 million people were related to this job. After reaching at peak in 2020 it start declining I and n 2020 it reached to 13 million. Agriculture related jobs keep steady from 1980 to 2020 and then fall at the lowest number, from 5 million to almost 2 million.

More ever, retail and healthcare jobs were keep increasing and reached at the highest number that is about15 million. In 1960 retail jobs were 5million and healthcare related jobs were almost 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the task by identifying the main trends in the four sectors. However, the analysis is inconsistent and contains factual inaccuracies based on the provided graph. For instance, you state manufacturing peaked in 1980 at 20 million, but the graph shows it peaking earlier, and your description of the agriculture trend is confusing. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall movement of the sectors. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your data points with the graph and provide a more accurate summary of the key features, such as the clear divergence between the growth of service-related jobs and the decline of manufacturing and agriculture.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Overall' and 'More ever', the flow between sentences is often mechanical. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the third paragraph where the timeline and data points become difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that transitions smoothly into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. You rely on simple verbs like 'got', 'keep', and 'fall', which are repetitive. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'jobs information' instead of 'employment data' and 'reached on their peak' instead of 'reached their peak'. To improve, incorporate more academic vocabulary related to trends, such as 'experienced a significant increase', 'underwent a steady decline', or 'remained relatively stable'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are consistent issues with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'jobs... were keep falling' and 'it start declining'. Additionally, there are punctuation errors and awkward sentence constructions, such as 'I and n 2020'. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for tense consistency, ensuring that your descriptions of past trends use the past simple tense correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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