Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall the jobs in Retail and Healthcare sectors in up trend and it was ending on the same point and the agriculture is in down trend moreover the Retail and agriculture start at the same point but at the end the result is different.

Firstly, the numbers of jobs sector in Retail and Healthcare is in up trend and in 1960 job in healthcare sector started at about 1 million and the Retail is started at about 6 million but in 1980 job in health care is on 5 million and Retail on 10 million and in 2000 the number of job in healthcare is about 11 million and in Retail is 15 million and in 2020 the the both sector on the same point at about 16 million.

Secondly, the jobs in agriculture and in manufacturing sector is in down trend and in 1860 in manufacturing sector on 15 million and agriculture sector on about 6 million and in the 1980 job in manufacturing sector is about 4 million and manufacturing sector is about 20 million and in 2000 in agriculture sector the number of jobs is same and in manufacturing sector the number of jon in about 13 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response identifies the main trends for the four sectors, but the analysis is significantly undermined by inaccurate data reporting. For instance, you mention '1860' instead of 1960, and the figures provided for the manufacturing sector are inconsistent and confusing. While you attempt to compare the sectors, the lack of precision in citing the graph's data points prevents a clear summary. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference the years and values on the axes. The overview is present but lacks the necessary clarity to fully capture the overall trends, as the description of the data is often contradictory or factually incorrect based on the provided graph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and repetitive, relying heavily on 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'. The logical progression is hindered by the inaccurate data reporting, which makes the comparisons difficult to follow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the sectors, as the transition between different time periods and categories feels disjointed. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear, distinct group of data to maintain a logical flow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic phrases like 'up trend' and 'down trend' throughout the text. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'job in healthcare sector started at about 1 million' instead of 'the number of jobs in the healthcare sector'. The repetition of 'sector' and 'number of jobs' makes the writing feel monotonous. To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more varied vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'peaked', 'declined steadily', or 'remained constant', and ensure that you use nouns and verbs correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the jobs... in up trend'), missing articles, and incorrect preposition usage. Sentence structures are largely simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'the the both sector on the same point'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with a lack of proper sentence boundaries. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and pluralisation.

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