Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This group illustrate the number of various jobs in 4 different sectors of the the financial economy in the United states from 1960 and 2020.

As for overview regarding this graph the healthcare increase dramatically along with economy of retail and the economy of manufacturing was recorded the highest and in the graph there is slight Decrease in agriculture.

For better understanding if we see the graph there is a dramatically increase in the healthcare sector where in 1960 the economy was 2.5% and due in increase it comes to 15% in 2020 also the economy of retail was also recorded increase in 1960 it was 5.5% but in 2020 it was recorded 15.5%.

The economy of manufacturing which was recorded the highest it slightly decrease to 11% in 2020 and in 1960 it was 20% the lowest economy was of of agriculture which was 5% in 1960 and in 2020 it comes down to 2.5%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for the four sectors. However, the analysis is somewhat superficial. The overview is present but lacks clarity, and the data points are sometimes presented in a repetitive, list-like fashion rather than being synthesized into a coherent comparison. While the key trends (healthcare and retail increasing, manufacturing and agriculture decreasing) are identified, the lack of precise data handling and the somewhat confusing structure of the overview prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most significant overall trends rather than just listing sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often missing or repetitive (e.g., 'the economy of...'). The use of referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of ideas. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is mechanical. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words such as 'conversely', 'in contrast', or 'meanwhile' to connect ideas and improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The phrase 'the economy of' is used incorrectly and excessively throughout the text, as the graph refers to job sectors, not the economy itself. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'This group illustrate' instead of 'This graph illustrates'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey the information with precision. To improve, focus on using sector-specific terminology and avoid repeating the same phrases. Use synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to add variety to your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('This group illustrate'), incorrect preposition usage ('in 1960 and 2020'), and awkward sentence construction ('due in increase it comes to'). The range of sentence structures is limited, relying mostly on simple or poorly connected clauses. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions when describing data and time periods.

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