Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the information about the availability of jobs accross four domains of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020. Overall, the number of jobs has declined in the manufacting department, whereas, an increase can be seen in the number of jobs accross regional and healthcare sectors. The vacancies in the agriculture sector remained same.
In 1980, 20 million jobs available in the manufacturing department and least number of jobs were available in agriculture department, just lower than 3 million.
In the manufacturing sector, the number of jobs reached at it's highest point, then experienced a sudden incline from year 1980 to 2020. From 1960 to 2020, the number of jobs increased from around 5 million to just above 15 million. The healthcare sector also showed a rapid incline in number of jobs between 1980 to 2020 and reached the same point as the retail department. In agriculture department, the availability of seats remained constant from year 1980 to 2000, and slightly fell in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state the manufacturing sector experienced a 'sudden incline' from 1980 to 2020, whereas the graph shows a clear decline. Additionally, the description of the agriculture sector as remaining 'same' is contradicted by the data, which shows a slight fluctuation. While you identify the main trends, the misinterpretation of the data points significantly impacts the accuracy of the summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference your written statements with the visual data provided to avoid factual errors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'whereas, an increase can be seen' is punctuated incorrectly, and the flow between the overview and the body paragraphs is slightly disjointed. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as when you mention 'the same point as the retail department' without having previously introduced the retail sector in the text. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear logical progression between sentences would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'availability', 'sectors', and 'constant'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and spelling errors, such as 'manufacting' instead of 'manufacturing' and 'accross' instead of 'across'. You also use 'seats' to refer to job vacancies, which is not appropriate in this context. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to economic trends and ensure accurate spelling of key vocabulary. Expanding your range of collocations, such as 'downward trend' or 'significant growth', would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the number of jobs reached at it's highest point' (incorrect preposition and possessive pronoun) and 'the number of jobs has declined in the manufacting department' (missing article). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and prepositions will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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