Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph below depicts the change in the number of job sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The number of job highest in 1960 was in manufacturing sector and lowest was in healthcare sector with the number amounting to 15 million and 2.5 million respectively. The number of job in retail and agricultural sector was equal in 1960 with both having the number of 6 million.
The number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, and healthcare increased to 20 million, 10 million and 5 million respectively in the year 1980 while the number of job in agriculture declined to 4 million.
In the following year, the job in manufacturing sector declined till the recent year 202 while the job in retail and agriculture kept on increasing.
With modernization, the number of job in agricultural sector kept on declining.
The number of jobs in retail and healthcare increased while other two declined.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover the four sectors, but the analysis is significantly flawed. You have failed to accurately report the data trends, particularly regarding the agricultural sector, which you describe as 'declining' despite the graph showing a different trajectory. Furthermore, the summary is incomplete; you mention 'the following year' instead of describing the trends over the 60-year period, and the final sentence is vague and repetitive. To improve, you must ensure that your overview clearly identifies the main trends (e.g., the rise of service-based sectors versus the decline of others) and supports these with accurate data points from the graph.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into short, disjointed paragraphs that lack logical progression. While you attempt to use some cohesive devices, the flow between sentences is often mechanical and confusing. For example, the transition 'In the following year' is inappropriate for a graph spanning decades. The referencing is also unclear; phrases like 'other two' are ambiguous because you have not clearly grouped the sectors. To achieve a higher score, focus on using transition signals to link your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear, unified focus, such as grouping sectors by their overall performance (rising vs. falling).
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use the phrase 'number of job' (which is grammatically incorrect) and rely on basic verbs like 'increased' and 'declined'. There is little attempt to use a range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'surpassed'. Additionally, there are errors in word choice, such as 'job sectors of the economy' instead of 'jobs in four economic sectors'. To improve, expand your repertoire of trend-related verbs and nouns and ensure you use the correct plural forms when discussing statistical data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. The most persistent issue is the lack of pluralization, such as 'number of job' instead of 'number of jobs'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositions, such as 'in manufacturing sector' (should be 'in the manufacturing sector'). Your sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent use of articles, and incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate control over your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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